


Death.

by lexbargen



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2015-08-17
Packaged: 2018-04-15 04:55:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4593624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lexbargen/pseuds/lexbargen





	Death.

There wasn’t words to describe him. He just wasn’t himself. Life seemed uninteresting and everything he had once enjoyed, seemed to have no positive effect on him. He sat alone in his apartment for most of the day, in that one chair beside the window. He would stay it for hours and claim to be making ideas up of what he wanted to do with his life but in reality, he was slowly dying.

* * *

 

“Harry, you can’t stay in here everyday.” Louis spoke up, Harry turned his head towards his friend. What Louis didn't understand was this is what was normal. Harry’s apartment was what felt normal to him. Being out there, just didn’t. “We need to get you into talk to someone.”

“I don’t feel like having my life poked at Louis.” Harry looked out the window and finally stood up slowly from the chair. He grabbed the bowl that was sitting in front of him and put it into the sink. Though there wasn’t much sink left, there was dishes overflowing out of it.

“You need it though.” Louis pressed on as he followed Harry to his bedroom.

“No I don’t, I'm fine.”

“You’re worse than ever, Harry.”

“Louis!” Harry raised his voice and Louis took a small step back from him. Harry sensed his slight fear and let out a breathe.

“I’m fine. I don’t feel like talking to some person I don’t know.”

“Then talk to me.” Louis said seriously. Harry stared at him before shaking his head. “We’ve been best friends since third grade Harry. Who else do you have that you trust as much as me? This isn’t you.”

“Things changed since my mom died Louis.” Harry shut the door to the bathroom and Louis sat down on the bed. Harry was his best friend, they had hooked up a few times while they were both drunk but nothing ever changed how they were to one another. He hated that he couldn't help him.

* * *

 

_“We the jury, find the victim,” there was a pause, it felt like the longest pause in history. Waiting to hear if someone’s life was going to be spent behind bars or they were going to walk free. Louis held his breathe and waited for them to continue, “guilty.” There was an uproar in the courtroom, Harry simply stared at the man he once knew._

_“Mr. Styles, in result of the first degree murder of Mrs. Anne Cox, we here by sentence you to 25 years of prison, with the possibility of patrol.” Louis grabbed Harry’s hand and pulled him out of the courtroom before all the reporters could get to him. He drove Harry back to his apartment and helped him get inside. Harry sat on his couch staring at the same wall for almost 3 days. Only getting up to go to the bathroom or get something small to eat. Louis went to check on him every single day, sometimes even spending the night. Harry finally got moving on the Friday, he had a shower and put on the TV but nothing seemed to fill the dull ringing that filled his ears._

* * *

 

“Can you grab a towel Louis?” He hadn't even realized Harry was taking a shower. He walked down the hall and grabbed one out of the hall closet. He opened the door and handed it to Harry. “You’re not drunk and you’re fine with seeing me naked?”

“I wasn’t drunk all those times I slept over when we were 16 and you walked around naked.”

“I’ve changed a bit since I was 16.” Harry wrapped the towel around his waist and Louis leaned up against the door.

“I guess it’s just something that has never bothered me.” He shrugged, Harry nodded once and used a hand towel to dry his hair a bit.

“You know, your mom wouldn't have wanted this for you Harry.” Louis spoke softly. Harry looked at him in the mirror.

“Don’t give me this fucking speech Lou. I already got it from my sister.”

“She’s right.”

“She’s always right, that’s what bugged me about growing up with her.” Louis could tell Harry was half joking but part of that statement was true. He was always being compared to Gemma, he never wanted to go to college. ‘Gemma is going Harry, you should be more like her.’ They would tell him. The only person that ever really understood Harry was now dead and was never going to be able to help him with another problem again.

“What’s it like Harry?” Harry looked up from the sink and narrowed his eyes on Louis. He knew were this question was going. “Not having a mother?” It sounded a lot more harsh when it was said out loud and Louis could tell Harry was pissed. His features softened a bit and he thought about it for a second.

“I’m never going to be able to ask her anything ever again. I’m never going to be able to get a hug from her when I’m upset or have her meet my children. I’m not going to have a mother at my wedding. Louis, I’ve pretty much lost both of my parents.”

“You always have mine. My mom thinks of you as a son.”

“Yeah, but it’s just different. I’m never going to get her pancakes when I come visit, I’m never going to smell her perfume again. I’m never going to get to hear her laugh. I can never tell her anything again, it’s like an entire part of me is gone, Lou.” He nodded, he wouldn't know what to do if he didn’t have his mother. Someone to confide in, make him feel better. The person that made him soup when he was sick and kicked him out of bed when he was faking it. “I’m getting tired Louis.” Louis snapped his head up knowing exactly what that statement meant to Harry.

“No, you aren’t. You can’t.” Louis shook his head.

“You know I’ve never been happy.”

“Pain goes away Harry, it doesn’t last forever.”

“It’s been there for the past 16 years, it’s getting heavy and tiring to hold up.”

“Harry, I can’t loose you too.” Louis mumbled softly and Harry’s face grew angry and Louis snapped into what he said.

“Too? Pity isn't it Lou? Loosing so much.” Harry voice was piercing and he hadn’t seen Harry like this in awhile. “You’ve lost nothing. You have your entire family, I have no one. My mother is dead and my father is in jail because of it. My sister is half way across the world and you are saying you’ve lost so much? Just because people have left your life doesn’t mean shit. They aren’t dead, they aren’t murders.” Harry stood in front of Louis and looked down at him, “don’t you dare try and play a guilt card on me, because guess what? It doesn’t work.” He shoved past Louis and went into the kitchen. Louis wiped the tears that were forming in his eyes trying to compose himself but he ended up laying down on Harry’s bed and falling asleep clutching onto his pillow.

Harry walked back into the bedroom a few hours later and took off his black t-shirt. He looked at Louis sleeping in his bed and sighed. He sat down and ran his hand gently through his hair. “You asked me what it felt like, it feels numb, Lou.” Harry spoke quietly. Louis was awake but he didn't want Harry to know that yet. “It feels like every single bone in my body doesn’t want to move. I have this constant ringing sound in my ear from the gunshot, everything moved in slow motion after that. I was glued to that spot Louis, if I would have done something I could have saved her.” It all made sense why Harry was so touchy upon the subject. He blamed himself for her death.

“You couldn’t have done anything differently Harry, and you can’t listen to the people that tell you otherwise.” Louis opened his eyes and stared at Harry. He titled his head and lightly smiled at the blue eyed boy.

“It’s not that easy Louis, it’s like the pain I have felt over the years, is like, magnified.” He shrugged lightly and motioned his head for Louis to move over.

"Can we talk about this in the morning?"

"Course we can, get some rest Lou." Harry let out a small sigh before finally letting the sleep take over his body.

 


End file.
